“MY STORY, WELL SOME OF IT”
A little about myself, I was once a trouble maker. I grew up in a pretty rough part in West Palm Beach, Florida. I got involved the streets and hung with gangs and drug dealers. All it got me was time in prison I lost relationships with my family and loved ones. Bridges were broken I lost respect not just from people who trusted me but also towards myself. I begin to use drugs abuse alcohol run the streets more and started going down a dark path. I have 3 kids in Florida but in my addiction they didn’t matter nothing did. I was not there for them while they were growing up. I was to ashamed to be around anybody even myself.
“A SUDDEN CHANGE”
One night I was out drinking and I met this girl she was intoxicated also we drunk all night until sun up. She said let’s go fishing we went fishing and I went into the water and it felt so new to me. I was afraid some shark or crazy sea monster was going to snatch me and drag me deep into the ocean and nobody would see or care not even the girl that was with me. At that time I was living in a house full of drug addicts who probably would have just took my clothes and sold them for drugs. Well the sea monster never came. You see I was so sure that I was such a bad person I believed I deserved to die. In my mind I didn’t deserve the actual happiness I was feeling just by being at the beach that morning. I let my head go below the water and would open my eyes so I could cry beneath the surface of the sea. If I would have cried above the surface on the earth the world would probably have flooded. That’s just how much pain and fear was inside of me. So much hurt because I knew deep down inside that my heart was good. I asked God for help at that moment I felt he was the sea. I felt he was the sun and the sand between my toes. When I was growing up and my mother was still alive I was always going fishing or swimming at the beach with my friends. Over the years I lost intrest in those things due to the path I chose. That day at the beach something happened I saw that happiness was being free yeah I went to the beach drunk but when I got into the cold water it sobered me up. When my head went beneath the oceans surface and I came back up I was new. That was over 3 years ago. I left the beach with that girl and she droped me back off to my drug house. I packed my bags and went to a rehab to start my journey for months I would stay clean then I would fall down again, but I would also remember the ocean and get up. I knew I never had to pay for happiness because it was free from God. I understood him my suffering had to be in order for me to be the man I am today. You cant buy happiness or freedom go outside and try to find a price on the sun or the mountains even the air. Some things are priceless I still struggle with thoughts of imaginary happiness, the materialistic happiness doesn’t last long but the spiritual is forever. If you buy a new shirt to wear to a wedding or a special event like a concert or graduation will be ageless even when you old, memories are so young. So many people say I remember like yesterday. This I do believe to be our spiritual side. So why try to buy happiness with a new shirt when you can wear an old one and still have a priceless memory. Why I was wasting my time using and abusing drugs. I was trying to buy happiness not knowing at the time it was free to me and everybody who wants it. I am proud of my past because it is a story of encouragement. It encourages those who are coming out of prison or jail or rehabs to be strong no matter what. When I was in my addiction I didn’t give up looking for drugs, now that I am heading in a positive direction why should I give up if anything bad happens to me one day like I cant find a job or I cant pay a bill. Look for help and you will find it, open your ears and you will hear what to do. Look with your heart. Its not over if you had a bad day, Its not over if your car is out of gas. Its not over if you need food. There is help out here in the world and it’s free just like the sun.God Bless you all,
Special thanks to: Pastor Jill Burcham with P.U.S.H. Ministries and People inc. at Wytheville Community College, Willing Partners, Rooftop, Blevins Building Supply, Guynn Funiture.